- Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.
- Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special.
- My Love, you’re you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
- Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.
- If you n I were Squirrels, I’d store my nuts in yer hole.
- You might not be the best-looking girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away.
- Man – “Fat Penguin!” Woman – “WHAT?” Man – “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”
- I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.
- If yer gonna regret this in the morning, we kin sleep til afternoon.
- Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
- If there was a party in your mouth I’d be the first person to come
- How about you sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up
- Let’s play titanic when I say iceberg you go down
- If I was a watermelon would you spit my seed?
- The only reason I would kick you out of the bed is to fcuk you on the floor
- I would call Heaven and tell them an angel was missing, but I’m kinda hoping you’re a slut!
- I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
- Wanna Job? It Blows!
- My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina?
- Hi, I’m a burglar… and I’m gonna smash your back door in!
- You can call me “The Fireman”….mainly because I turn the shoes on!
- I’m a zombie, can I eat you out?
- I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.
- I’m a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?
- I’m going to have s*x with you later, so you might as well be there!
- Some men go around telling women they have an eight-inch p*nis; I’d never shortchange myself like that!
- The last woman I was with said, “Kiss me where it stinks.” So, I drove her to New Jersey.
- Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.
- I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo?
- I’m not a d*ck in real life, but I’ll play one in your v*gina tonight!
- Your a*s is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?
- Looks don’t matter, I’ll just wrap you in a flag and fcuk you for glory.
- Hey, is that a keg in your pants? Cause I’d sure love to tap THAT a*s!
- I would tell you a joke about my p*nis….buts its too long
- My magical watch says you’re not wearing any p*nties…oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast…
- “I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I, at least, have the box it came in?
- ” I’m a Gemini. What’s your sign – Fire Down Below?
- We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I’ll poke you.
- I’ve got a big one, you wanna see how hard it works?
- Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, Slippery When Wet, Dangerous Curves ahead, Yield?
- Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re having s*x, cause I’m stronger than you
- My cat’s dead, can I play with your p*ssy instead?
- Hey baby, I’m kind of cold, Can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
- If I was a robot and you were one too, If I lost a bolt would you give me a screw?
- The names D*ck, can I put it in you?
- Yeah. I’m an a*shole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?
- I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz every time your around my d*ck swells up.
- Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say “Are you gonna eat that?”
- Baby, I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses, one leg over each ear.
- Hey! tell your ni*ples to stop staring at my eyes.
- Those bo*bs look very heavy… can I hold them for you?
- Let’s play circus, first sit on my face I’ll guess ur weight and Let’s eat the difference
- How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut!
- That dress would look great on my bedroom floor!
- You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
- I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
- Come here or my d*ck will start CUMING for you!
- What’s the biggest moving muscle in a women’s body makes My cock!
- I’m bigger and better than the Titanic … only 200 women went down on the Titanic
- Lets play house…you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!
- The word for tonight is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word?
- Do you handle chickens because you look like you’d be good with c*cks
- Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
- I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!
- First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.
- Baby!! My love for you is like Diarrhea. It just keeps coming out
- Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.
- Having s*x is a lot like golf. I’m always happy when I get a hole in one.
- Your pants remind me of Vegas…. The kinda place I go to blow my Wad.
- How much do your clothes cost? (Woman says “Why do you want to know?”) Cause I`ll need to know how much to pay you back after I rip them off.!
- Wanna make like scarface and say hello to my little friend
- Your br*asts remind me of Mount Rushmore….my face should be among them.
- Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I’ll throw you my meat.
- As long as you need a place to sit, you’ll always have my face.
- Beauty is only skin deep; a huge c*ck goes much deeper.
- Do you cum here, often?
- Wanna do something that rhymes with truck?
- Do you know the difference between my p*nis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out!
- My d*ck just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
- Guess what?! I’ve got an 8″ tongue and I can breath out of my ears!
- Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?
- Have you ever bought a vibrator? (No.) Do you want to rent one?
- “Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place”
- You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can br*astfeed by you until I’m 5.
- Since we shouldn’t waste things in this bad economy, what you say we use these co*doms in my pocket before they expire.
- “Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?” (pull your pockets inside out) “Would you like to?”
- Let’s go to my place and do some math add a bed subtracts our clothes divide your legs and multiply
- Hey! Wanna play war? I lay on the floor and you blow the fcuk out of me!
- If we were both squirrels would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
- “I’m against animal cruelty, so don’t hurt my monkey, please stroke it gently”
- “Wanna take a shower with me to conserve water?”
- “When I see you, sea levels aren’t the only thing rising…”
- “Your so hot you must’ve started all of the global warmings”
- “Turning off your Engine, gets my motor humming”
- “I don’t drive a car, but I’d love to walk you home!”
- ”Turning off the Lights, is one of my Turn On’s”
- “I bet your Dad is an Environmentalist because you are so eco-friendly”
- “You eyes are as bright as energy saving halogen light bulbs, would you light up my life?”
- Screw the nice list, I’ve got you on my “nice and naughty list!
- That’s not a candy cane in my pocket. I’m just glad to see you!
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