While your eyes are paramount in flirting with your date, the way you move your hands can be just as crucial in securing their affections!
We always want to be at our best in the presence of a special someone, especially during dates where we would want to give them the right impression. That’s why people spend a lot of time, effort, and resources in making themselves look good by buying the right clothes, grooming themselves, and choosing the right words in conversations.
Aside from these methods of prepping, little do people know how their own hands can help them become more enticing in a dating situation. No, it does not involve you touching the other person in weird places, but rather, using hand gestures to further improve your chances at winning in the dating game.
Now if you’ve watched an episode of Lie to Me, you probably have a good idea of how gestures and non-verbal cues could tell a lot about a person. These cues give a subtle glimpse of the person’s personality, motives, and if they’re telling the truth or a lie. But let’s skip the blinks, grimaces, and shuffles for now, and focus on the hands.
Hand gestures are very noticeable and are usually used to help convey a thought when speaking, but it could also give clues about your disposition during an intimate conversation with your date.
Your hands tell who you are
Keep in mind that you’re aiming for the best impression you could muster. So take note of these general rules in using hand gestures to give your date the right idea about you. Like all things, using hand gestures inappropriately could be worse than not using them at all!
#1 Know your mannerisms and adopted gestures. Prior to learning about this, you probably have adopted a habit of using hand gestures of your own. Remember that you need the good ones that give a good impression. So take note and learn about your own hand mannerisms and avoid using the gestures that would put you in the wrong side of your date’s graces.
#2 Don’t overdo it. Use hand gestures sparingly and decisively. Think of it as a finishing touch to your words in a conversation or a playful indicator when you want to elicit a reaction. Don’t just flail your hands around every time you utter a word. If you do this, your date will either think that you’re Italian or you have a severe case of epilepsy.
#3 Keep your hands out of your pockets. Of course, you can’t use hand gestures if you keep them hidden in your pockets. Not only does it make you appear like a creep fondling god-knows-what, but it also gives the impression that you are secretive and insecure.
If you’re not doing anything with your hands, it is best that you adopt a neutral position like letting them hang at your sides or resting them on the table.
Hand gestures to impress your date
FACT: Hand gestures can be used as a supplement to conversations or as a form of non-verbal display, like the metaphorical gorilla beating his chest. People who use hand gestures are often perceived as more youthful, intelligent, and honest.
#1 The open palms. This gesture is pretty simple, and you can adopt this as a default gesture in romantic interactions. In this gesture, both hands are relaxed and held open upwards, like carrying an invisible baby. This gesture indicates honesty, openness, and a relaxed attitude. Using this gesture in conversations allows you to create an impression that you are sincere, calm, and more credible.
#2 Hands on chest. This gesture is used as a display of sincerity when you are the one talking, and as a sign of empathy when listening to the other person speak. It is the reason why this gesture is used when the national anthem is sung – to imply that you mean every word you say.
#3 The hand whirl. This gesture is done by holding the hand up with the palm facing your body. The fingers are kept together while you make a rolling motion, as if the tip of your hand is drawing a circle. The gesture is commonly used when explaining an abstract concept, and it gives off an intellectual vibe.
#4 The steeple. The steeple is a gesture where one holds the fingers of both hands together like a clasp in prayer, but leaves some space between the palms like a loose pyramid. This conveys positive confidence when used in the right situation.
This gesture is commonly used by great thinkers in interviews and portraits as a sign that they are capable of complex thinking. Again, use this if you want to give your date the intellectual impression.
#5 Palms at rest. This gesture is normally done in a table setting where both palms are relaxed and face down on the table, with the forearms forming a triangular shape and your upper body leaning forward. This gesture is an overt sign that you are interested in your companion.
#6 Preening. Preening could be defined as a gesture used to direct attention towards a body part or clothing in order to “fix” our appearance for the sake of the other person. There are many gestures considered as preening, and they can be taken positively or negatively. Positive preening gestures elicit the impression of self-assurance and confidence. Examples include:
- Straightening your coat before you sit or when you stand. Not only does it direct attention to your dapper suit, but it gives you the aura of being a dignified, well-bred person. So give your lapels a slight tug prior to sitting and after standing.
- Fixing your cuffs or your cufflinks. The fact that you wore cufflinks on a date gives the idea that you are a classy, well-made gentleman. Notice how cool this gesture looks in Boardwalk Empire?
- Tucking your hair behind your ear. An exclusively feminine gesture that is both alluring and shyly flirtatious, daintily tucking your hair behind your ear makes you seem coy but still open to flirtation.
#7 Holding out your hand. One of the gestures of a true gentleman is to hold out his hand as an offer of support whenever his lady is getting out of the car or descending the stairs.
Even if she declines the physical support you offer, the gesture directly sends a message of personal concern and protectiveness. And did we mention that it is very gentlemanly?
#8 Touching. Touching can be tricky, as it comprises of physical contact and gives off a more intimate overtone than conversations and the usual hand gestures. Women, in particular, are very sensitive to touching, so great care must be observed when touching another person. Touches in this setting should be “safe touches” on the hand, upper back, arms, and shoulders.
For women, on the other hand, touching your date could be a sign that you’re also open to him touching you. When in doubt about the perfect time to touch him, a great time would be when you’re making a point or emphasizing an idea. Gently touching his forearm with your fingertips when you say a word you want to emphasize is enough to give a positive impression.
Instead of robotically gluing your hands to the table or nervously fiddling your fingers, practicing the above hand gestures can immediately make you seem more confident, in control, and, in turn, more attractive to your date.
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