Relationships are hard. Finding somebody you want to spend time with can be difficult enough, but once that happens, you’ve got to deal with the task of maintenance: keeping things fresh, finding time for each other, and generally just coming up ways to navigate the tricky ups and downs every partnership faces. Lucky for you, we’ve come up with 101 relationship tips—some big, some small—that’ll help you improve any partnership.
Plus, we asked a few of our favorite relationship experts for their tips, including life and dating coach and Huffington Post blogger Kira Sabin, relationships author Samara O’Shea (whose forthcoming book Loves Me … Not is worth a read), and the sex and relationships editor at The Frisky Ami Angelowicz.
From how to deal with jealousy to how to get over a potentially deadly lull, we’ve got 101 relationship tips that you can start implementing right now, so start reading!
1. Listen.It might sound obvious, but when you really allow yourself to listen—and ask questions about—what your partner says, it not only leads to better conversations, but also better communication.
2. Take a few days apart.
Missing each other is a great way to reconnect. Try grabbing some girlfriends for an overnight or a weekend getaway every few months.
Missing each other is a great way to reconnect. Try grabbing some girlfriends for an overnight or a weekend getaway every few months.
3. Find a support team.
Have a handful of great friends or family members you can call so your significant other doesn’t have to hear every small grievance going on your life.
Have a handful of great friends or family members you can call so your significant other doesn’t have to hear every small grievance going on your life.
4. Put away your phones.
One of the biggest relationship tips is to give your undivided attention when your partner is speaking. It’s is one of the most important things you can do.
5. Volunteer together.Giving back is a great way to keep perspective of how great your relationship is, and how lucky you both are.
6. Create a checklist.
Jot down new and fun things you want to accomplish for a day as a duo.
Jot down new and fun things you want to accomplish for a day as a duo.
7. Talk to couples over 65 years old.
Get relationship tips from them, and see what you can take away to apply to your relationship.
Get relationship tips from them, and see what you can take away to apply to your relationship.
8. Stop and appreciate all that your relationship is this very second.Stop living for what it can be. This person is choosing to be in your life every day, not every day in the future.
9. Revisit the questions you asked in the beginning.What are you hoping to accomplish in the next year? What are you scared of? These answers change, so we need to keep asking these questions.
10. Find 10 things you really love about them and tell them.
Guys need confidence boosters, too!
Guys need confidence boosters, too!
11. Stop nagging.
Seriously, stop. Take a step back and figure out the big things about your partner that truly bother you, and approach them from a place of concern and support instead of nitpicking for sport. That’ll get you nowhere.
Seriously, stop. Take a step back and figure out the big things about your partner that truly bother you, and approach them from a place of concern and support instead of nitpicking for sport. That’ll get you nowhere.
12. Get over needing to be right.
Learning to say “I was wrong” is a skill worth learning.
Learning to say “I was wrong” is a skill worth learning.
13. Take care of yourself.
No relationship can be successful if you don’t feel good about yourself, both inside and out.
No relationship can be successful if you don’t feel good about yourself, both inside and out.
14. Know what you need and then ask for it.
You’re dating a human, not a magical psychic.
You’re dating a human, not a magical psychic.
15. Take a class.
It’s proven that couples who learn together connect deeper. Find some common ground (cooking? art? science?) and go from there.
It’s proven that couples who learn together connect deeper. Find some common ground (cooking? art? science?) and go from there.
16. Stop complicating things that aren’t complicated enough.
Don’t pull a Carrie Bradshaw during the Aiden years: If you bemoan the fact that your relationship is going too well, you might need to revisit why you’re constantly seeking out drama.
17. Assume that if something was said that hurt your feelings, it wasn’t intended that way.
Why would they want to upset you or hurt you? Give your partner the benefit of the doubt, but if it’s really bothering you, don’t be afraid to bring it up.
Why would they want to upset you or hurt you? Give your partner the benefit of the doubt, but if it’s really bothering you, don’t be afraid to bring it up.
18. Write notes.Whether you have study hall together or live together, handwritten notes are personal touches in today’s highly digital world.
19. Pitch in.Help each other with chores and other necessary, if banal, activities — cooking, cleaning, re-organizing, etc. Not doing them if you live together can create tension, and always doing them can create unfair expectations. Act as team of equals.
20. Disconnect.
Step away from the laptop during quality time. Everything on the Internet will still be there later.
Step away from the laptop during quality time. Everything on the Internet will still be there later.
21. Allow things to be what they are.
Sometimes bad days and bad moods happen. Don’t go crazy trying to make everything better. Just be supportive and loving, because just being there at the end of a bad day can make it better for both of you.
Sometimes bad days and bad moods happen. Don’t go crazy trying to make everything better. Just be supportive and loving, because just being there at the end of a bad day can make it better for both of you.
22. Create mini-traditions.
Creating small rituals can really help hold up a couple because they become “your thing.” Whether it’s a fancy night out during the holiday season, or watching a certain show every week, these are things that’ll give you both something to look forward to, and it’ll bring you closer together.
Creating small rituals can really help hold up a couple because they become “your thing.” Whether it’s a fancy night out during the holiday season, or watching a certain show every week, these are things that’ll give you both something to look forward to, and it’ll bring you closer together.
23. Be an open book.
They can either deal with it or they can’t, but if you can’t be your most honest self with this person, it’ll come out eventually.
They can either deal with it or they can’t, but if you can’t be your most honest self with this person, it’ll come out eventually.
24. Compliment, and often.
You’re there to make each other feel like your best selves, so let the genuine praise flow freely. Like his outfit? Tell him! Like her hair today? Let her know!
You’re there to make each other feel like your best selves, so let the genuine praise flow freely. Like his outfit? Tell him! Like her hair today? Let her know!
25. Make promises that you really can keep.
Say things that you want to follow through with out loud. It’ll make you work harder to make them happen. Having—and setting—levels of reasonable expectations for your relationship is a healthy way to keep it strong.
Say things that you want to follow through with out loud. It’ll make you work harder to make them happen. Having—and setting—levels of reasonable expectations for your relationship is a healthy way to keep it strong.
26. Acknowledge positive actions.
When you and your partner see positive actions, solutions, or behavior in one another, acknowledge it and remind each other to keep it up.
When you and your partner see positive actions, solutions, or behavior in one another, acknowledge it and remind each other to keep it up.
27. Establish genuine connections with the other’s friends and family.
Hang out together with both of your friends and family. This is the stuff that makes the world go ’round, people!
Hang out together with both of your friends and family. This is the stuff that makes the world go ’round, people!
28. Pay attention to the tiny things that bother your partner, and if it’s painless for you, work to change them.
We’re not talking changing your laugh or your style, but if you know that your partner really hates it when you leave the kitchen counter cluttered, try to make a point of clearing it off before he gets home. It’s an easy enough thing to do and it makes their day better, so why not?
We’re not talking changing your laugh or your style, but if you know that your partner really hates it when you leave the kitchen counter cluttered, try to make a point of clearing it off before he gets home. It’s an easy enough thing to do and it makes their day better, so why not?
29. Never, never forget to ask about the other person’s day.
It’s such an easy slight to avoid!
30. Only one person gets to have the bad day.
If your partner’s day sucked and yours was just “eh,” let them have the pity (and the control of the remote, and the choice of take-out). If it’s you, announce it early and let them know you need the support. If it’s a toss-up, trade stories about why your days were so awful and you’ll end up laughing while trying to figure out who wins.
If your partner’s day sucked and yours was just “eh,” let them have the pity (and the control of the remote, and the choice of take-out). If it’s you, announce it early and let them know you need the support. If it’s a toss-up, trade stories about why your days were so awful and you’ll end up laughing while trying to figure out who wins.
31. Small gifts go a long way.Bringing home a pack of their favorite candy/magazine/book by a favorite author never gets old.
32. Graham Parsons has a song lyric that says “I just want to hold you, I don’t want to hold you down.”Let that be your motto when you’re giving your partner advice.
33. Log onto Instagram and like all their photos.
Just because.
34. Plan a date where you revisit the spot you went on your first date.Remember all the amazing things that brought you from then to now.
35. Go on a walk together somewhere beautiful.And don’t forget to turn off your cell phones.
36. Surprise them with dinner.One unexpected night, surprise your partner with a home-cooked meal, and a nicely-set table.
37. Review your top five favorite funny things your partner has done.Because your partner is funny! That’s part of why you like them.
38. Go to a yoga class together.Or other exercise class together. Your body and relationship will thank you!
39. Go on a road trip, even if you’re not going anywhere far.
It’s nice to get out of town sometimes.
It’s nice to get out of town sometimes.
40. Pick up a six-pack of toilet paper or (even better) a six-pack of beer.
Without even being asked.
41. Keep the surprises coming.
Think of your relationship as a creative challenge. To keep the romance fresh, come up with new date ideas, new sex positions, and new ways to demonstrate your love.
Think of your relationship as a creative challenge. To keep the romance fresh, come up with new date ideas, new sex positions, and new ways to demonstrate your love.
42. Plan small outings.
Whether its brunch this weekend, or a trip to a new neighborhood.
Whether its brunch this weekend, or a trip to a new neighborhood.
43. Make out.Kissing is something that is often set to the side the longer a couple has been together. Out of blue one day, initiate a high-school style make-out session.
44. Let it go.Don’t hold onto that thing your lover said or did six months ago and bring it up each time you get mad at him. Do both of you a favor and let it go
45. Don’t interrupt.
Even if what you think your significant other is saying is uninteresting, don’t bulldoze over his or her words. Being able to listen to each other—even when the details are mundane—is important.
Even if what you think your significant other is saying is uninteresting, don’t bulldoze over his or her words. Being able to listen to each other—even when the details are mundane—is important.
46. Say thanks.
Let him know that you notice the little things he does by saying thank you for routine tasks like walking the dog or picking up groceries.
47. Cook a meal together.Come up with a menu, shop, and prepare the food together.
Let him know that you notice the little things he does by saying thank you for routine tasks like walking the dog or picking up groceries.
47. Cook a meal together.Come up with a menu, shop, and prepare the food together.
48. Have fun with hypotheticals.Conversation can become routine. Break from the ordinary and have a silly dinner conversation made entirely of imaginary situations—for example, “If you were on an island and could only bring five movies, which movies would you bring?
49. Keep a couple’s journal.
Write down your desires and fantasies and leave them out for your significant other to find—encourage him to write back.
Write down your desires and fantasies and leave them out for your significant other to find—encourage him to write back.
50. Agree to disagree.
This is one of the most important relationship tips, as you both have strong opinions and therefore some issues will never be resolved. Respect each other’s point of view and agree not to argue about the same issue, unless it’s something that could get in the way of your future, like politics, religion, or values.
This is one of the most important relationship tips, as you both have strong opinions and therefore some issues will never be resolved. Respect each other’s point of view and agree not to argue about the same issue, unless it’s something that could get in the way of your future, like politics, religion, or values.
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